Parenthood...

Being alone with my kids, can be challenging, to say the least. Not a day goes by, when I don't have to argue and fight with one of them. Sometimes they take turns as to who acts up, and if I get more than one kid at the same time, well then, it's my lucky day, isn't it! We have a 12 yr old son who is now taller than I am. He is at least 5'6", and is skinny as could be. The kid eats and eats, and I have no idea where it goes.
 He has a seizure disorder, and in order to get his seizure meds in to him, I put it in ice cream. Each day, this kid eats Ice cream. Like- the real, ice cream. Not low fat, not sherbet, not fat free, the real deal. I could not imagine what would happen if I ate ice cream every day- I would be soooo overweight! Heck- I'm overweight without doing that. Once he turns 15 or 16, I guess we'll have to re-mortgage the house, just so we can feed him and his brothers! ha ha. Three boys when they are teenagers??? OHHH Boy are we going to be in for it!!







I am always feeling as though the boys do not listen to me, and I can usually prove that, by simply asking them what I had just said to them. I just get that "deer in the headlights" look.


I struggle on most days, to help them with their homework, and also to get them off to school on time. Ok, I just plain ol' struggle. In about everything that I have to do, along with keeping this house standing and cooking, laundry, dealing with pets, etc- Lord knows what each day will throw at me. Most days go without major events, and I know that if I were to sit, and actually THINK about all that I have to do, I would get so depressed. I am always so busy; I barely have time for myself. The best way to handle it, is to not sit and think about it. I naturally have to think about best ways to handle things, of course. What I am saying, is I don't want to dwell on how overwhelmed my life is at the moment. If I did that, I would be sad and depressed. I don't want to go there. When Pat first left, that is exactly what I did. I was miserable, I did not want to talk to anyone, and I did not want to go anywhere, or do anything. I just was miserable, and I cried all the time. What good will that do? None. Nothing. And my kids need a Mother. For me to sit around feeling bad for myself in my own little "pity party”, was not going to get me that "Mother of the Year award”. My kids needed attention, they were hurting also. Daddy didn't have a lot of choices, either he went to Korea and remained Active Duty, or he didn't, and he would have been retired, and, possibly unemployed. Who's going to pay the bills if Dad can't? So off he went, into the “Wild Blue Yonder”.

We are all struggling and fighting to survive. It's a day to day thing, and we have to try our best each day. Our best to be our best and to be happy and positive. I don't want to be like "Eeyore”, who is always glum.

I try to make plans, to keep things normal (or as close to it). We are still going to go camping, and still looking forward to future events that we hope to do. We look forward to our phone calls, and our "Skype" time with Daddy, even when it is at like, 6am because of the time difference. It's better than nothing! So, I have to have the attitude, "when life gives you lemons, make lemonade" or- even better, "When life gives you lemons, grab the tequila and salt!!"  I like a nice Margarita every once in a while, and I enjoy having fun with my friends and family. I don’t get out too often, and sitters are expensive.






When I do not feel too well, it can be really difficult to get through the days. It isn’t like I can just go and lay down… I have to feed the cherubs, and make sure homework is done, animals are fed, and daily household stuff done also. I have been blessed, that I haven’t been extremely ill since Pat left. A cold or something, but no throw up bugs that makes you just stay in bed. I am Blessed for that, and I am so grateful that it has not happened (knock on wood!). I don’t know what I would do if it did happen, I haven’t got anyone else living here to handle things if I am down and out. And so far, yes, the kids have had some viruses that I am so very glad to not have caught (again, knock on wood! LOL). Sometimes juggling the kids when they are sick is challenging also.






I strive to be a better Mother. I get angry and frustrated when they don’t listen to me. Or at least I think they don’t listen. I do tell them, “there’s 3 of you, and only 1 of me” often, and I get so overwhelmed sometimes. I try so hard to compliment the kids, and praise them on good work done. Do I accomplish this every day? I certainly try. I also know I get frustrated every day. And I try sooooooo hard to not show my frustration. Sometimes I have to just leave the room and say nothing. Parenthood, by far, is the hardest job I have ever known, and the pay is lousy.

The first 25 years are the hardest. At least I am told that. My daughter is almost 24, so I am not past this stage just yet. I have been through the Driver’s Ed, the dating scenario’s, (and how much she HATED me waiting up for her to get her butt home); I have survived getting those phone calls about car accidents, and so much more.

I am still alive, I have a lot of grey hair (covered up professionally, when I can get there), but in the end, I wouldn’t trade my kids in for the world, nor would I trade in my job as being their Mother. They are my everything…! I can’t imagine my life without them.