Retirement?

Yes, it is true. My Husband has officially retired from the U.S. Air Force, after almost 25 years in service.  We were a bit nervous, about retiring, and how things would change. We are Blessed, that hubby found a job right away, and he enjoys what he is doing for work. However: Our Military benefits have changed. Primarily, health care. Whereas we now have to pay for our insurance, and co-pays, and we are finding out now that things aren't "covered". Our Family Dental insurance ended, but it is a good thing we had signed up for Dental through Hubby's new employer. But, unfortunately, it doesn't cover enough. The cost of healthcare, and the dental, is astronomical. Not just for us, but for everyone. We know lots of folks out there have NO insurance what so ever. Since Hubby's return home, I have acquired a job, working in the Emergency Room of a local Hospital, doing Patient Registration. So when you come through the doors needing medical services, you come to me first. The same if you come in an ambulance, or go in labor to have a baby. We register you in to the computer system. I love the job, I enjoy helping people out. Some of the stories make you realize that perhaps you are a normal person after all, LOL!! But then, there are some pretty sad stories as well.
Retirement is a HUGE change, of which we are still learning from. Atleast I know now that Hubby will never be deployed again. Business trips, perhaps, but no more deployments! Whoo-Hoo!!! I hope everyone has a Blessed day out there :o)
Mary

Hubby is H O M E !

Actually, he has been home for a little while, now. I apologize for not updating the blog sooner. Things have been busy, and life gets in the way sometimes.  Pat is now home, for good. He is on what the military calls "Terminal leave" , which means he gets to use up any un-used vacation days, personal days, and what have you, before his retirement date. Also because he came back from an overseas assignment, they gave him an additional 30 days for "house hunting" although we already have a home. They get that 30 days no matter. So that is a good thing, for him. When he first got back, his body took a while to adjust to the time differences- he was 13 hours ahead of us when he was in Korea. So when it would be, like maybe noon here, he would be totally wiped out and ready for bed, as it would have been 1am in Korea. So it took about a week or so for him to re-adjust his body (and mind, ha ha) to the time differences.

So I had this whole plan in my mind, as to how to greet him when he arrived at the airport. The kids had made a big, huge, long banner that said "welcome home Dad" on it, and decorated it and signed it. We were going to get there early, and be there in a line with the banner out, to welcome him. Pat had sent me his flight itinerary, and for whatever reason, his intinerary said he was landing at 00:30, (which means 12:30am, military time), and I mistook it for 1:30am. Not sure what I was even thinking. I had let the boys fall asleep that night, and then I woke them up when it was time to get ready to leave. We got in the car and we're driving on the highway in to Boston, to pick him up. I checked the clock, and it said I had 45 minutes until what I thought was his landing time. My phone rang. It was Pat. He says "Sooo, where are you?" I said, well, we're on the Southeast Expressway on our way in. Don't tell me you have already landed" And he said "Yes, we landed about 15 minutes ago" and my heart just sank. We missed it. I messed up the time in my mind (what is left of it) and there was nobody to greet him at the airport. I was so upset with myself.  We pulled up to the curb at the airport, and there he was, waving. Not the best situation for a homecoming, I will say. I was just so bummed out. But at the same time, I was so excited to see him! We all jumped out of the car and hugged him, however we were rushed out of the way by police and other vehicles that needed to pull in. Pat was hungry, so we drove around a little bit, looking for a place to grab breakfast. Nothing was open. So we came home, and I made everyone bacon, eggs, & toast.  He was so glad to be back on U.S. Soil, and even more happy to see his family.

Now our family, we love camping. We have a camper, and we love going with our friends and have fun at different campgrounds. We had pre-arranged a camping trip for this particular weekend, not realizing at the time, that it fell on the day that Pat was coming back from Korea. So after we got in from the airport, we all ate breakfast (at 2:30am, lol) and went to bed. The kids and I were up later that morning, but Pat slept a little longer. He was totally wiped out. Our friends had already left for the campground, but there was no way we were going to be there. Pat was too tired. We ended up heading down to the campground the following day, on a Saturday. Pat was still exhausted, but he wanted to go, and see our friends, and hang out. The kids had lots of fun, they got to go trick or treating at this campground (it was a Halloween themed weekend), and Pat was still out of sync with his body, so he slept frequently. Not only that, but he was used to being on his own for the past year. He could come and go as he pleased. Coming home to a wife and kids, 2 dogs, etc- was going to be an adjustment. Noises, barking, the kids running around, at first, it was a little bit much for Pat. But now, after a month of being back home again, he is fully adjusted, lol !

So when they first come home, yes, there most definately is an adjustment. One night, Pat wanted to head out for an evening with a friend, and our 9 year old went ballistic. He did NOT want Dad to leave. Not even for a little while with a friend. He was so upset with the fact that Daddy was leaving, even though he was nearby. He had treated it, as if Daddy were leaving again for Korea. He just would not accept it at all.  All that night, he cried, and was so sad, he was just inconsolable. Daddy even called a few times to talk to him on the phone. He finally went to bed, (it was a school night) and I reassured him that he would see Daddy again the following day. I explained to my Husband that this is a transitional time for our family. It was hard to understand, but it is definately what had happened. Our son was so afraid of losing his Daddy again. He just clung on to his Daddy for a few weeks after he got home. Now that it has been a month, things are getting back to normal again.  The boys are constantly asking their Dad to do things with them, and they signed up for basketball, so they go and practice with Daddy, too. They just love that. It took about a month or so to feel like things are back to normal again, but we are definately getting there!

He will be coming home soon...

Yes folks, it is true. Hubby is expected back on U.S. soil, in about 2 weeks! His return date got switched around a few times, but he has told me, that he will be landing in Boston, on October 7th (at 1:30 AM, which is a time I would rather not even think about, with 3 kids on a school night..)! We here at home are very excited that he will be coming back. However, we have been apart for a year. We will need some time to re-adjust, and get used to having him back at home again. He wants to go and see his family, who live in New Jersey, so we will also be making a trip there (5 hours in the car, not too-too bad, could be worse, lol).




I wonder if he might think I have changed at all. I have been through a whole lot here, this past year. He knows about everything that has happened, and I am just drained and burned out from it. Having to deal with 3 very active boys is not easy. It doesn't help that they are all considered special needs. I have had my hands beyond full. I haven't had a good night of sleep, since I don't know when. When Pat comes home, I have told him, I want to take, like a week off, ALONE... but I don’t think it will happen. I know better than to think something awesome like that would take place for me. I can't imagine coming home, after living completely alone for a year, to a houseful of kids, and pets, and chaos... but that is exactly what he is coming home to!



I had set some goals in my mind, of things I wanted to get done around the house, before Pat returned from Korea. I haven't finished even 1 goal. Just the thought of these goals, makes me tired. I am just so exhausted, burned out, and overwhelmed. I sometimes have to just tell my kids, "I can’t do this, or I am overwhelmed". There may be something that they really want to do, but we are limited for money, or time, or I am just too tired. I have never felt so exhausted in all of my life, as I have this past year. People have told me, "oh, the year will go by and he'll be back before you know it" and stuff like that. Well, that has not happened for me. This has been one of the longest years of my life. The only other time in my life of which I can compare it to, is from 2006/07, when I was caring for my Mother, and my father had just died. My mother found out she had lung cancer (stage IV) and it was horrible to see her go through the pain and suffering, and those chemo treatments, until she became too weak to do the chemo. My kids and I flew back and forth across the country, from MA to TX and back again, and then we even drove from TX to MA in my SUV (that was an interesting time...).



While I am looking forward to his return, I am also a little bit nervous. After all, people can change over a year’s time. I may not be the person he once knew, I may react differently to things, or what have you. And Pat could be a little different, as well. He did not come home for a visit at his 6 month mark, as most service members do. He decided it would be best to not come home, as it would just upset the kids all the more, when he had to leave again. So he remained in Korea. And because he did not come home at the 6 month mark, he gets to leave Korea a few weeks earlier, which is a plus.

I tried to make the Summer a good one for the boys. We went camping a few times, in our RV, and we have an above ground pool in the back yard, so we used that a lot. The boys were also in Summer School, so many days were tied up because of that. Now that they are all back in school again, and fall is quickly approaching, I am contemplating whether or not to go back to work. We could surely use the money, I could use the time spent with other adults (maybe). But I often get concerned, as I imagine one of the kids getting sick or hurt at school, and I have to go and get them. Or the half-days that the school has once a month. Things like that concern me, what will I do? If I am working, my hands are tied more. I wish I had a simple solution and I could work at home, doing this wonderful thing I love to do and getting paid well for it. But I don’t have a magic solution for that just yet. I haven ‘t quite found that magic solution. Does anyone know where I can get one??? !! If I were a crafty soul, which I can be, with lots of guidance, then I could make money doing that. Work at home jobs are hard to come by. I wish there was more out there. But the economy being the way it is, you know?



So these are my thoughts for the day, what are yours??? I look forward to hearing from you!!

Home sweet home??

Well, the warm weather, is finally approaching. If it's over 50, at this point, I'll take it. Of course I will change my mind in about a month, I will want it warmer, ha ha. So now is the time, to clean up the yard, and get ready for the warm weather. This, coming from a gal who still has Christmas lights up on the house, and in a tree out in front of the house.  At Christmas, a friend came over, and offered to put them up. I told him, "well, I wasn't gonna put them up, since it's hard for me to get them down afterwards". He said "oh, don't be silly, I will help you" , and here I am. Lights still up. People are talking, I just know they are. I gotta get out the big ladder and climb up there and take them off of the gutters. And the tree? Ought to be fun. I am certainly hoping that I won't have a hard time with it, and also that I don't need to do much with the gutters. I need to rake up leaves. I live near some woods, and most of the people on my street, just take a wheelbarrell up to the woods to dump the leaves. I have 2 gardens to prepare, that used to be my parent's. One flowers, and the other for vegetables. Not to mention the pool we put in a few years back, and the big ol' RV in the back yard. I need to get that opened up, and ready for camping season. So I guess I have my work cut out for me. I have no idea how I am going to get all of this stuff done, plus run every day errands, and heaven forbid one of the kids gets sick and I have to go get them from school or something. When Hubby is deployed, I get to play the role of both the Wife, and the Husband. I will soon have to throw in lawn care in to the mix, probably by next month. Ugh. How on earth am I to do this???!!!

I remember when our now almost 13 yr old Patrick was born, my Husband had to go "TDY" after just a few weeks after having the baby.We lived on the base at the time, in housing.  One afternoon, I got a knock on the door. It was someone in uniform, with a slip of paper. He informed me that I did not have any mulch around the tree in front of my house. I said ok, when my husband returns from TDY the following week, I would tell him. He said "No Ma'am, this has to be taken care of now". I said "but I just had a baby, I am not supposed to be lifting anything heavy or doing heavy work for a few more weeks". He said that I needed to figure it out, but I had to get it fixed NOW.  I was like "Are you kidding me?" Mulch. around a tree. Like I gave a hoot! So that afternoon, I packed up my newborn and my daughter and a shovel, and a box or something to put it in, and went to collect the mulch from the spot that the military provided it for residents of base housing. I shoveled, loaded it up, took it home and put it around the stupid tree. I could not believe this. I was irate, hot, tired, and sore. The baby was crying, but I had to get this done. NOW. See, after (I think) 3 write ups in a month, you could get evicted from the base military housing. We were new there. I didn't know a lot of people. And I did not want my Husband to get in to trouble.
The military wants their base looking "just so"... and if your yard "sticks out" or what have you, they're gonna let you know. I got written up once for having too many outdoor toys on my front porch. For not taking the trash barrells off of the curb in time. For not keeping the trash barrells in the garage. For lawn that was getting too high. For weeds in the bushes. You name it, we were written up for it. So I guess I am glad that they aren't around me now, ha ha, I definately would have been written up for these darn Christmas lights!!! LOL!

Living on the base also has it's perks, however. You are surrounded by other military families, who know first hand, exactly what you are going through. You develop a life-long friendship with many of these folks, and we "cover each other's backs" when needed.  It is a friendship, like I cannot describe. We have so much in common. We know how it feels when our spouses deploy. We know how hard it is, and try to help. We know when the spouse is gone, you need a break so we take the kids, or cook a meal. Or just call to check up on one another. Hopefully, everyone has atleast one friend whom they can count on like this. I would be lost without my friends, that's for sure.   Because we are in the Air Force, we are subjected to moves, or "PCS" which stands for "Permanent change of station". Sometimes the moves are "stateside", some times they are overseas. But it doesn't matter where you live, when it comes time to leave, and say goodbye to people who have lived around you for the past few years, that maybe you got close to in some way. It's one of the hardest things, to do, is to say goodbye to a friend, and you are not sure when you will see them again. Now a days, we have the internet, and "Skype" . I am thrilled, that we are still able to be connected in some way, after moving away from one another! So many people, some Military, some are not, have touched our lives in some way.
Atleast we have modern technology to help us stay connected! And I will definately say, that it is modern technology that is keeping me connected to my Husband while he is away. Because of the time difference, he will "Skype" me sometimes around 6:30 am. I don't know about you, but the last thing on my mind at 6:30 am is a video camera... but it's all I can get, so I take it. I usually look like "my morning self", and I have my coffee with me, and kids climbing on me to see and talk to their Dad. This Skype thing helps us out in sooo many ways, with coping while Daddy is gone. 
Yes, I know. I have gone from my gutters, to Skype... I can only imagine what you are thinking, wow- talk about a wandering mind! And all I can say is Yup- that's me!!  As the warmer weather approaches you, take advantage of it. Embrace the sunshine, the flowers, the leaves on the trees, the blue skies! And if that doesn't work for ya, you can always come by my place and help me with these darn lights and gutters.... :o)

Gimme a break !!

Well, it is a Friday, and it is also the day after we have discovered that Pat will be retiring from the Air Force soon. I have yet to speak to him about this, however we do communicate through emails at the moment. The time difference can take a toll on the communications!!

The boys get to be a handful quite often, and I am drained many days. Many nights are not with decent sleep, and the alarm clock rings when I feel as though I have just closed my eyes.  So here I am with 3 kids, sleep deprived, and they usually fight over something.

It's time for mom to try to get a night out. So, I find out there is a local scrapbooking crop at a nearby store. YAY! I LOVE scrapbooking!! So I sign up, I find a babysitter, and life is good ! I have something to look forward to! I think all morning long, about which pictures/project I want to work on.  By lunch time, I go online to check my email, and there it was. The email from the scrapbooking store. It read:
"Tonight's crop cancelled" . I was stunned. What?? Why??

As I read on, it stated that there was a lack of participation. I was thinking that perhaps I was the only one who signed up for this crop night? I don't know. Well, not that it matters anyways, they closed up at 7. I had no other plans. I was so bummed out. Scrapbooking is my outlet! I don't even care if I don't know anyone else- (my husband will tell you that I talk to anyone, so that never stops me). I go to these things by myself anyways. So, I relutantly called the sitter and cancelled. I was so bummed out. I just did not have any other plans for tonight, and I felt tired. So here I am, the kids will be in bed soon (hopefully). They have fights, oh, about maybe once an hour, over various things... enough to drive me crazy.  I just wished that my night out would have worked out. It isnt like I go out often... and yes, I can scrapbook at home, however it isn't always easy with 3 kids wanting to steal your tools and supplies, and distracting you, and what have you. So, I guess, better luck next time. 

I hope that the next crop will be more popular, and hopefully it won't be cancelled. This particular place offers it twice monthly on Friday nights, and I think once a month on Sundays. I haven't been to the Sunday crop yet, as I take my kids to church on Sundays. By the time we get out of church, the crop is more than halfway over. I may as well forget about it. I wish that there were more options available to me in the area. Not a lot of scrapbooking places around. Even Michael's Arts & Crafts store stopped their scrapbooking crops! Geez I feel like I can't win !!  Oh well, better luck next time.

The test results are in...

The test results are in... and as some of you may already have heard, Pat did not make it to the next rank.  He remains a Master Sergeant, which is still nothing to sneeze at. He has worked hard and diligently in his Air Force Profession, and we are so very proud of him. He has had many accomplishments and achievements along the way, and has exceeded his goals of where he wanted to be at this point in his life (career-wise). I am a very supportive wife, or atleast I try to be. Sometimes, things happen that we have no control over. Like deployments. This time is actually easy compared to the last time he was shipped off. That was a long time ago, and I know and realize how Blessed we really are, that he has not been deployed more often. I am so thankful.

 Back in 1999, he was told on a Friday, that he was leaving for an "undisclosed location" and was gone the very next day. I had no idea where he was, what he was doing, was he in harms way? The anxiety just about killed me. Here I was living on the base at home, wondering what was going on with him. The Air Force was doing what they call "Base exercises" which is a solid week, sometimes more, of exercises to prepare in the event of a disaster. All personnell must participate. Long days, long nights. In the years that Pat was home for these exercises, we would get the 3AM phone calls, off of the "recall roster" and sometimes he had to report in, sometimes he needed to call the next troop on the list. Anyways, it was during this big exercise that a major anxiety attack happened to me, I was taken to the Emergency Room by a friend who had to leave his position at the exercise. I felt so bad, so guilty. The Hospital hooked me up to EKG's, and all this stuff, and determined that it was anxiety (which I was telling them the entire time I was there) and prescribed anti anxiety medication, and sent me along my way.

Back to the current day, he is now knowing that he will be retiring soon from the Air Force. Pat has been Active Duty for so long (by the time he retires, it will be close to 25 yrs), he does not know anything but Air Force. He does not have experience with "The civilian sector" .   He is used to doing things the Air Force way, and that includes wearing his Uniform each day, etc...  So this will be a huge adjustment for Pat, once he returns to "the States" from Korea.  I am sad that he did not make it to Senior Master Sergeant. I think he deserves it, he worked hard for it, and I know that he did his best to achieve it. But at the same time, I am happy that we are not having to move again. I really did not want to, but if that is what we had to do, I was willing to go if we had to.  This is part of being in the Military, and I have been through this before, many a time with Patrick. However this time is unique, as it is at the end of his career. I have been with him for almost 16 years, and they usually take a test once a year, to go up in rank. So, needless to say, we have seen many tests come through. Some passed, some did not. We have congratulated friends and colleagues on their promotions as well.

The ceremony that is given when you put on a "new stripe" is usually done in fun... the troop stands there, and their families stand by their side with a paper version of the stripe badge to put on their arm. Then, (with cameras ready, of course) they tell you to put that new stripe on them, and you are supposed to punch them real hard in the arm right where the stripe goes! Of course, if it were a girl getting that stripe, I would hope it would be just a little tap or something. Now do you honestly think that I would let Sgt. Hunt get by with just a tap on the arm?? Heck NO! I would bash him in the arm for all that it's worth, and everyone would laugh and clap... that's how it's done!  LOL...

I totally congratulate all those that did make it to their next ranks with the USAF (and all other branches, as well). You worked hard, and you deserve it, congrats!! I commend each of you for your dedication, hard work, your accomplishments, and your willingness to put your country before yourself.

Parenthood...

Being alone with my kids, can be challenging, to say the least. Not a day goes by, when I don't have to argue and fight with one of them. Sometimes they take turns as to who acts up, and if I get more than one kid at the same time, well then, it's my lucky day, isn't it! We have a 12 yr old son who is now taller than I am. He is at least 5'6", and is skinny as could be. The kid eats and eats, and I have no idea where it goes.
 He has a seizure disorder, and in order to get his seizure meds in to him, I put it in ice cream. Each day, this kid eats Ice cream. Like- the real, ice cream. Not low fat, not sherbet, not fat free, the real deal. I could not imagine what would happen if I ate ice cream every day- I would be soooo overweight! Heck- I'm overweight without doing that. Once he turns 15 or 16, I guess we'll have to re-mortgage the house, just so we can feed him and his brothers! ha ha. Three boys when they are teenagers??? OHHH Boy are we going to be in for it!!







I am always feeling as though the boys do not listen to me, and I can usually prove that, by simply asking them what I had just said to them. I just get that "deer in the headlights" look.


I struggle on most days, to help them with their homework, and also to get them off to school on time. Ok, I just plain ol' struggle. In about everything that I have to do, along with keeping this house standing and cooking, laundry, dealing with pets, etc- Lord knows what each day will throw at me. Most days go without major events, and I know that if I were to sit, and actually THINK about all that I have to do, I would get so depressed. I am always so busy; I barely have time for myself. The best way to handle it, is to not sit and think about it. I naturally have to think about best ways to handle things, of course. What I am saying, is I don't want to dwell on how overwhelmed my life is at the moment. If I did that, I would be sad and depressed. I don't want to go there. When Pat first left, that is exactly what I did. I was miserable, I did not want to talk to anyone, and I did not want to go anywhere, or do anything. I just was miserable, and I cried all the time. What good will that do? None. Nothing. And my kids need a Mother. For me to sit around feeling bad for myself in my own little "pity party”, was not going to get me that "Mother of the Year award”. My kids needed attention, they were hurting also. Daddy didn't have a lot of choices, either he went to Korea and remained Active Duty, or he didn't, and he would have been retired, and, possibly unemployed. Who's going to pay the bills if Dad can't? So off he went, into the “Wild Blue Yonder”.

We are all struggling and fighting to survive. It's a day to day thing, and we have to try our best each day. Our best to be our best and to be happy and positive. I don't want to be like "Eeyore”, who is always glum.

I try to make plans, to keep things normal (or as close to it). We are still going to go camping, and still looking forward to future events that we hope to do. We look forward to our phone calls, and our "Skype" time with Daddy, even when it is at like, 6am because of the time difference. It's better than nothing! So, I have to have the attitude, "when life gives you lemons, make lemonade" or- even better, "When life gives you lemons, grab the tequila and salt!!"  I like a nice Margarita every once in a while, and I enjoy having fun with my friends and family. I don’t get out too often, and sitters are expensive.






When I do not feel too well, it can be really difficult to get through the days. It isn’t like I can just go and lay down… I have to feed the cherubs, and make sure homework is done, animals are fed, and daily household stuff done also. I have been blessed, that I haven’t been extremely ill since Pat left. A cold or something, but no throw up bugs that makes you just stay in bed. I am Blessed for that, and I am so grateful that it has not happened (knock on wood!). I don’t know what I would do if it did happen, I haven’t got anyone else living here to handle things if I am down and out. And so far, yes, the kids have had some viruses that I am so very glad to not have caught (again, knock on wood! LOL). Sometimes juggling the kids when they are sick is challenging also.






I strive to be a better Mother. I get angry and frustrated when they don’t listen to me. Or at least I think they don’t listen. I do tell them, “there’s 3 of you, and only 1 of me” often, and I get so overwhelmed sometimes. I try so hard to compliment the kids, and praise them on good work done. Do I accomplish this every day? I certainly try. I also know I get frustrated every day. And I try sooooooo hard to not show my frustration. Sometimes I have to just leave the room and say nothing. Parenthood, by far, is the hardest job I have ever known, and the pay is lousy.

The first 25 years are the hardest. At least I am told that. My daughter is almost 24, so I am not past this stage just yet. I have been through the Driver’s Ed, the dating scenario’s, (and how much she HATED me waiting up for her to get her butt home); I have survived getting those phone calls about car accidents, and so much more.

I am still alive, I have a lot of grey hair (covered up professionally, when I can get there), but in the end, I wouldn’t trade my kids in for the world, nor would I trade in my job as being their Mother. They are my everything…! I can’t imagine my life without them.